3 Tips for Estate Planning Without the Family Drama

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: estate planning can be stressful. Understanding what you need and how to get there can be complex, but the help of an experienced estate planning attorney can make that part easier. Another point of stress for many people is anticipating the emotions of family members involved in and impacted by your estate plan.

Family drama often enters into the estate planning process after the principal has passed away, during probate (if not planned for and avoided within the estate plan), inheritance, maintenance and sale of property, and settling debts and costs associated with the estate. An adult child may feel that their surviving parent, step-parent, or sibling is not being adequately helpful or received an unfair inheritance; family members may feel the executor is not being transparent about the estate settlement process, and misunderstanding can occur around the deceased’s wishes for non-financial elements of the estate, such as family heirlooms and funeral plans. The list goes on.

I’m Paul Margerie. As an experienced estate planning attorney, I help families in Milwaukee, Waukesha, Wauwatosa, Brookfield, and surrounding communities navigate the complex world of estate planning, from initial creation to maintenance to settling an estate during the emotional time after a loved one passes away. Here are my top tips for avoiding the family drama:

1. Create a financial overview document and share it with those who need to know. Though not necessarily part of a traditional estate plan, a thorough overview of your finances and assets can offer clarity for your loved ones. Not only will this document help your executor understand what you own and where you own it, but a document laying out your assets and accounts provides an extra layer of transparency from your own hand for family members who may feel that the inheritance process is confusing or unfair. This is a document you can start working on today; open a word document on your computer and begin assembling the following information:
   • Information on all insurance policies, bank accounts, retirement accounts, and financial accounts you hold, the organization that houses them, how they are titled, and all listed beneficiaries.
   • A listing of your personal assets of value (financial or emotional): real estate and property, vehicles, cash and cash equivalents, antiques, collectibles, family heirlooms, etc. You can include additional details, such as your purchase price for the asset and instructions for its maintenance and sale after your passing. Just make sure this information matches what is laid out in your official estate plan.
   • A listing of all investments.
   • If you own a business, include a list of business assets like machinery, real estate, inventory, patents, royalties, etc.
   • For any of the above, if there is a co-owner of the asset, their name and contact information should be included in your financial overview.
   • Information on any pets, including instructions for their care and the name/phone number of their veterinarian.
2. Keep lines of communication open. Plan to meet with family members and who play a role in your estate plan to ensure everyone understands what is contained therein and how it will impact them. Explain why you made the decisions you did and be prepared to answer questions. This is also a great time to discuss non-financial matters and share wisdom and stories with your family before you pass. The conversations may be tough in the moment, but getting everyone on the same page is one of the best things you can do to avoid family drama down the road. Check out this article for more information on how to conduct a family meeting about your estate plan.
3. Assemble the right team and put them in touch with each other. The right attorney can make all the difference when trying to navigate the complex and emotional process of estate planning. An experienced professional has seen how things can play out and can help you avoid common pitfalls, acting as a sounding board and advisor to help you navigate current and potential future tough situations. In addition to hiring the right attorney, you will want to assign important roles, like executor and powers of attorney, to people who are capable, emotionally stable, and have your best interests in mind. Finally, your financial/wealth advisor/s and accountants should be connected with your estate planning attorney to ensure the whole team is on the same page.

At Margerie Law, I am committed to helping make the estate planning process easy so you can feel confident in preparing your family for their future. I help clients in Milwaukee, Wauwatosa, Brookfield, Waukesha, and surrounding communities implement all elements of their estate plans, including powers of attorney, trusts, wills, and more. I can also provide guidance on special needs trusts, real estate law, and other considerations. Give me a call today to get your questions answered.